Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Here and there

Back in Denver after a month of insane travel. More Life Changes have occurred. Hopefully being in one place for a bit will be more conducive to writing again.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Going 'round in circles

It's a month later, we've had the Detroit service with all of her friends, and not much has changed.

I've made some more Life Choices (note the capital letters), but i still feel stuck in the same place. I keep having this brutal shock when I realize that she's gone. It just doesn't make any sense.

Parts of me are getting better, but a lot of me isn't. I still don't do very well with people, and get incredibly stressed out when put in the center of attention. But I can laugh and I'm starting to be able to cry. I'm sure it's a good thing, even if it doesn't feel like it.

I miss her.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Condolence

Our language is ill equipped to handle the complexities of telling a person how much you feel for them when they have lost someone. My brother once went on a rant, shortly after is father died. Specifically - what the hell IS a condolence? Why are you offering it to me or giving it to me? What the hell am I supposed to do with a partially used condolence? Imagine this all in a George Carlin-esque type rant and you're almost there.

He has a point though.

A lot of people have been pretty straight with me, saying they just don't know what to say, but that they do feel for me. My response has been that it isn't that you have to know what say, but that you want to say something in the first place that matters. But really, why is language so inept?